


Why Couldn't He Have Been a Stripper?

by Penndragon27



Series: Penn's Midnight Fics [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur being thirsty, Awkward Boners, Bottom Arthur, Fluff and Humor, Grapefruit, M/M, Oral Sex, Pining Arthur, Smut, Top Merlin (Merlin), bad erotica novels, merlin's motherfucking voice of absolute sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 03:33:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18003026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penndragon27/pseuds/Penndragon27
Summary: In which medical school is expensive, Arthur has to listen to bad erotica, and there is inappropriate use of a grapefruit





	Why Couldn't He Have Been a Stripper?

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to all the other chatzy folk for supporting me in this clusterfuck of a fic! Enjoy the FRUITS of my labour.

When Arthur met Merlin, his first impression was that he was awkward and clumsy. Five years later, not much had changed.

 

Sure, Merlin turned out to be a genius and in medical school, but he was still the guy who tripped over chairs (and apologized to them) and couldn’t eat anything remotely sauce-based without it ending up on his lap.

 

This didn’t bother Arthur, not by any means. In fact, he found these traits endearing (not that he would ever say that out loud).  They were what made Merlin… Merlin. However, his (perfectly reasonable) affection for his friend did not mean he was any less shocked by what Morgana was showing him on her screen.

 

“See?” She shoved her phone in his face. “M. Emrys. Did you know Merlin made audiobooks?”

 

Arthur shook his head slowly. It wasn’t so much the sight of Merlin’s name on the audiobook website so much as the book title next to it. And the photo of a half-naked guy in a silk boxing robe, advertising the exciting piece of literature: _Below the Belt._

 

“Merlin writes erotica?” Arthur asked, voice sounding hollow. Morgana rolled her eyes.

 

“He doesn’t _write_ it. He _reads_ it. For money.”

 

“Money?”

 

Morgana shrugged. “Well, medical school can’t be cheap. I’m assuming he’s doing it for the cash rather than as a side hobby or future career path. I feel like most medical students moonlight as strippers, but this isn’t too far off.”

 

Arthur’s mind was suddenly filled with Merlin in skin-tight leather, dancing provocatively around a pole. The image wasn’t entirely terrible, which made him prickle with fear.

 

“Have you listened to them?” Arthur couldn’t help but wonder. Morgana’s cheeks pinked.

 

“Only a bit, just to make sure it was him. I stopped a couple scenes in. I love Merlin, but hearing him describe throbbing members and heaving bosoms is not really my speed.”

 

Arthur tried to picture Merlin— innocent, shy, always-whispers-when-he-swears _Merlin_ — speaking about such lewd things. He shivered unexpectedly at the thought.

 

“I don’t believe it.”

 

Morgana nodded. “I know. I mean, I knew he worked at the pub on weekends, but I suppose it’s not enough. We probably shouldn’t mention it to him, right? He’s probably so embarrassed by it. Why did I tell you? Am I a horrible person?”

 

Arthur rolled his eyes. “I won’t tell anyone, Morgana. Don’t worry.”

 

His sister smiled, soft before turning mischievous. “Are you going to listen to it?”

 

Arthur scoffed. “And why would _I_ want to listen to my friend talk about throbbing members and heaving breasts?”

 

Morgana nodded solemnly, eyes twinkling. “Right. Perhaps just the throbbing members.”

 

Arthur choked on air as Morgana laughed, putting her phone in her purse and getting ready to leave. Arthur regained his voice as she was putting on her shoes.

 

“Nice seeing you, dear sister. So glad you could stop by, shove literotica in my face, and then run off.”

 

Morgana winked at him before leaving. As soon as the echo of her clicking heels faded, Arthur nearly tripped over his couch in his rush to get to his laptop. It was perfectly natural to want to scroll through the erotic novels your best friend narrated. Just for blackmail material. And to laugh at him. Completely logical.

 

Once he had the site pulled up, he quickly found the book Morgana had showed him, the one about a boxer. While the ratings for the actual book were mediocre, the reader ratings were…. five stars.

 

Why would people enjoy _Merlin_ reading steamy sex scenes? And poorly written sex scenes at that, by the looks of the ratings.

 

Curiosity getting the better of him, he scrolled through the comments. Some of them were commenting on the book, criticizing the cliché plot and subpar writing. Most of the comments, though, were about Merlin.

 

_raunchyreader69: His voice is SO FREAKING SEXY! How can he make that broken toilet scene sound like absolute porn??!!!!_

_Literace379: Holy FUCK! If that guy gave my lectures I’d actually pay attention. Mainly because I’d have creamed in my pants asdfghjkl_

_ilikesmutdealwithit54: Hey all! I made a clip of just that shower scene so you can hear that sexy voice moan and gasp for all your masturbatory purposes <333_

Arthur scrolled through the comments, which ranged from simply complimenting Merlin on his acting to lengthy, descriptive requests of what they would like Merlin to do to them. Arthur felt his face flush in embarrassment on behalf of his friend, knowing Merlin was not the type to “bend someone over and plow them like a field”, as followtheyellowdickroad so clearly wanted.

 

Arthur glanced at his watch and figured he should probably make some dinner instead of reading various people thirst after his best friend. However, as he cooked and ate and washed up, his eyes kept glancing at his computer, wondering what Merlin had done to deserve all of those comments.

 

He managed to control himself until he was showered and in bed, computer on his lap and mouse hovering over the “Purchase” button. He just wanted to hear Merlin make a fool of himself. That’s all. His best friend is reading erotic fiction, it’s a funny situation. Not intriguing at all.

 

Finally, he said “Screw it” and grabbed his wallet from his nightstand, pulling out his credit card so he could buy the dumb book and download it. Then he pressed play.

 

Merlin’s voice filtered out of the speakers as he read the introduction. It was definitely Merlin, the lilt of his Irish accent loud and clear, but his voice was pitched slightly lower. It was closer to what Merlin had sounded like first thing in the morning, back when they were dorming together. It was husky and scratchy and Arthur felt his stomach flip at the sound.

 

Merlin began reading the book, which wasn’t that interesting. Arthur frowned and skipped through it, ignoring the description of what the heroine wore that day and the love interest warning her off with terribly angsty phrases.

 

Arthur clicked to a random spot in the middle of the book and suddenly his room was filled with the sound of Merlin’s deep voice saying:

 

_“She moaned has he entered her, his cock thick and pulsing within her.”_

 

Arthur made to skip again, but he felt a little jittery at hearing his mild mannered friend saying such explicit things.

 

_“Her hands scratched at his back as he thrusted into her tight warmth harder and harder._

 

_‘Yes! Oh, yes! Fuck me! Harder, please!’”_

 

Arthur’s toes curled slightly at the sound of Merlin ( _Merlin!_ ) crying out in pleasure, his voice going high pitched as he was voicing a girl. He still sounded distinctly masculine, though, so it just sounded like his voice was cracking in pleasure. The effect… wasn’t terrible.

 

_“She pulsed around his throbbing member, reaching her pleasure like a runner reaching the finish line of a race. But Arden kept moving his hips, his mouth latching on to a pert nipple and suckling at it softly. She whimpered and came again, feeling her slick drip onto her thighs._

 

_‘Mine,’ Arden growled._

 

_She whimpered as he fucked her through another orgasm, her mind drifting to the clouds. Arden’s strong hand pushed her flowing locks away from her face. He pulled one final orgasm from her before pushing in hard and deep, finally filling her with his seed.”_

 

Now, Arthur had slept with a couple women in his time and while they weren’t that great (aside from helping him realize that he was _quite_ gay), he knew that this book… did not understand how female orgasms work. He also felt that Arden should probably be wearing a condom.

 

Despite these flaws in logic, however, Arthur’s prick was stiff and straining against his boxers. He tried to say it was because he was listening to a description of sex, but the writing was not _that_ good.

 

No, he knew he was reacting to this strange new side of Merlin with the deep voice and swearing combined with the high pitch keening. The noises he was making were downright _pornographic_ and Arthur could understand followtheyellowdickroad’s desire to have Merlin plow them like a field. Or maybe he’d plow Merlin like a field, pull those gorgeous keening sounds from him.

 

His erection was starting to be a bit of a problem and he knew he had to deal with it. Fuck.

 

He moved his laptop to the side, not bothering to pause the audiobook. The sex scene was over, so instead Arthur focused on the rumble of Merlin’s reading voice, the only coherent part of him acknowledging how good he was at slipping into the different characters.

 

Arthur pulled down the waistband of his pajama bottoms, allowing his erection to slap against his stomach. He couldn’t believe he was about to wank to the sound of _Merlin’s_ voice, but when he heard Merlin give a low curse, he couldn’t believe he hadn’t wanked to it before.

 

Sure, there were the occasional dreams wherein Merlin got on his knees in front of him. After all, Merlin was anything but ugly. But those were passing thoughts. Everyone had them.

 

Now, as he finally took himself into his hand and let out a gasp of relief, he was focused on the cadence of Merlin’s voice, jumping from low to high as he switched between characters. Due to the genre of the book, Arthur had barely started pumping before another sex scene started. It was the shower scene, the one ilikesmutdealwithit54 had found so… appealing.

 

Arthur slowed down his strokes, trying to make it last, enjoy the sound of Merlin’s smooth voice giving an overly detailed description of the shower stall. Then Arden was running his hands down Fiona’s wet skin and the author used about a dozen synonyms for slippery in one paragraph, but Merlin’s voice had gone soft, as though mimicking the gentle fall of water in the stall.

 

_“Arden’s thick fingers reached between her thighs. She grabbed onto his broad, muscly shoulders for support. His digits slipped between her folds and she melted, the pleasure greater than she had ever felt in her entire life._

 

_‘Oh, please Arden! Another I need more!’_

 

_Arden added another finger and she nearly fell in ecstasy. He thrusted them into her and leaned forward so he could do the same with his tongue in her mouth, stroking the inside of her cheeks with that velvety muscle._

 

_Fiona pulled away so she could moan again, loud and encouragingly._

 

_‘Oh!’”_

 

Arthur’s slow movements fumbled at the moan Merlin gave. It should’ve been ridiculous, Merlin pretending to be a woman in pleasure, but the high pitch and how utterly _broken_ he sounded… Arthur wanted to hear it in real life.

 

His thumb brushed over his slit and he bucked his hips up, similar to what Arden was doing against Fiona. Arthur closed his eyes, trying to edit Merlin’s voice so it was his name he was saying, not Arden. He imagined it was Merlin’s hand gripping him and he was gripping Merlin. He wanted to feel Merlin’s lips on his neck and his lips on Merlin’s. He imagined it was after one of Merlin’s study binges so he hadn’t shaved and his stubble was scraping against Arthur’s skin.

 

His hand sped up, moving as fast as his hips were bucking and creating that wonderful friction. Merlin’s voice continued to play from his laptop, more filthy language and raspy moans and groans. Soon he couldn’t tell which noises were Merlin’s and which were his own.

 

Then there was a loud “ _Fuck!”_ from his computer, practically growled, and Arthur was coming, harder than he ever had before, making an absolute mess of his shirt.

 

“Fuck,” Arthur agreed.

 

Merlin’s voice went on and Arthur closed his eyes, not bothering to deal with the mess, letting the soft sounds of his best friend talking send him off to sleep.

 

***

 

The next day, Arthur had woken up in a sticky mess he had to clean up and was also running late for work.  He had barely made it in time, hair ruffled and tie crooked, and his father had given him a stern look.

 

He tried to work twice as hard to make up for it, but his mind was miles away, thinking of Merlin and the audiobook and his fucking _voice_. Where had that come from? Merlin was attractive in an awkward, dorky way, but never had Arthur encountered that sexy, seductive side to him. And he was addicted to it.

 

Instead of working, he found himself looking through the site for other books Merlin had narrated and was pleased to find a great deal more. He added them to his cart to purchase later.

 

By the end of the day he was looking forward to going home and listening to more of Merlin’s voice, but then he got a text from Morgana reminding him of their plans tonight. At the pub. With their friends. And Merlin. Who was his friend. Who Arthur had wanked over last night.

 

“Fuck,” Arthur swore before blushing, the curse now reminding him of what he had done last night.

 

Before leaving his building, he went to the bathroom to wash his face and maybe smack his cheeks a bit, trying to focus. It was just Merlin. His friend. His close friend. His old roommate from college.

 

When he showed up at the pub, Morgana was already there and so were Leon, Lance, and Gwen. And Merlin.

 

Arthur’s mouth went dry at the sight of him, hair messy as usual, but now Arthur couldn’t help but notice it gave off more of a “just shagged” vibe than “I don’t own a comb”.  Merlin was already sipping on a pint, so his cheeks were flushed, highlighting those sharp cheekbones.

 

Arthur sat down quickly before his legs could give out, his eyes falling to where Merlin’s hands wrapped around his glass. His fingers were so long and pale, they really would look lovely wrapped around Arthur’s-

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Arthur nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of Merlin’s voice. It was so clear and distinct compared to the slightly tinny sound of the audiobook. Merlin was also not using that low, seductive tone because… well, why would he?

 

“I’m fine,” he managed to say semi-normally, grateful to Morgana for pouring him some beer from their pitcher. He took a long gulp, trying to soothe his nerves.

 

It was just Merlin. His friend, his mate. The guy he jerked off to last night. The guy with surprisingly plump lips for such a sharp face and Arthur watched as they formed words, wondering what Merlin looked like while reading the audiobook. He wanted to watch Merlin, holding the book open, letting each syllable drip from his lips, slowly turning Arthur into a puddle.

 

He was focusing on the way Merlin’s teeth bit at his lip when he said “effective” when he noticed Merlin’s mouth pause. In fact, everyone had paused the conversation to stare at him oddly. He gave a confused smile.

 

“What?”

 

“You just seem a bit distant,” Morgana said. From the piercing look in her eyes, Arthur felt like she knew exactly what he was thinking about. Well, maybe not exactly. His imagination was pretty creative tonight.

 

“Alcohol,” Arthur blurted out, not helping the concerned stares. “I mean, I had a long day at work. I’m gonna get another drink.”

 

He knocked back the rest of his beer before stumbling off to the bar in search of something stronger. He would need it if he was going to spend the evening with Merlin and his lips and his fingers and his stupid sex hair.

 

Arthur ordered a shot to calm his nerves as well as a whiskey to bring back to the table. He forced a smile onto his face and his friends looked somewhat appeased.

 

“Couldn’t have offered to get us a drink to?” Leon joked and Arthur turned sheepish. Gwen clapped her hands together.

 

“No problem! I think Lance and I are gonna head out. Early morning and all.”

 

The others exchanged knowing looks. They knew Lance and Gwen were trying for a baby and from the furious blush on Lance’s face, it was still going on.

 

Once they left, Morgana launched into a discussion of her latest catch, some librarian named Mithian. Arthur couldn’t help but feel his heart soften at how, despite his sister’s attempts to make it sound casual, she could not fight the besotted smile on her face.

 

He could feel the worried looks Merlin was giving him, considering Arthur had kind of been ignoring him all night. He ignored the looks as well and focused on getting utterly sloshed. When the room was sufficiently spinning and his words were uniting into one long slur (Merlin was probably still able to speak perfectly, damn him), Leon declared them done for the night.

 

“Will you be alright?” Morgana was frowning in concern. Then a warm arm wrapped around his shoulders.

 

“I’ve got him, you take this cab,” Merlin was saying and yep, his voice was still sexy. He still wasn’t using the deep voice, though.

 

“Talk lower,” Arthur said, reasonably clearly considering his mental capacity.

 

“Am I too loud?” Merlin whispered, close to Arthur’s ear. It wasn’t his reading voice, but it still made Arthur shiver.

 

“No, don’t do that,” Arthur said, already feeling the urge to jump Merlin’s bones. He’d had the thought before, but never this strongly.

 

“I think it’s time for you to go home.”

 

Arthur wasn’t fully aware, he remembered lots of spinning and various colour, but somehow he ended up back in his apartment, Merlin helping him to his bed.

 

The bed he had wanked on last night. To Merlin’s voice.

 

His laptop was still laying there and Arthur felt like Merlin would know exactly what happened.

 

“Don’t open my laptop,” he mumbled. Merlin laughed and Arthur enjoyed the rumbling feeling that resulted from it.

 

“No worries, Arthur, I have no desire to see your pornographic tendencies.”

 

Arthur frowned because that wasn’t right. “You’re the porn.”

 

Merlin just shook his head and pulled off Arthur’s blazer. That was nice.

 

“Are we gonna have sex?”

 

Merlin choked. “What? No! I’m just- I just- no!”

 

“Why not?” Arthur sounded rather petulant, but it was an upsetting situation.

 

“Alright, time for bed.”

 

Arthur’s face lit up and Merlin held up a finger. “Alone.”

 

He allowed Merlin to maneuver him under the covers and pull off his shoes. When Merlin turned to go, Arthur held up his arms.

 

“Tuck me in!”

 

Merlin gaped at him and Arthur liked the sight of him with an open mouth.

 

“Arthur, you are not a child, though I have serious doubts sometimes.”

 

“Please?”

 

Merlin sighed and walked back, tucking the blankets in around Arthur. Merlin was leaning over him and Arthur sat forward, burying his nose in Merlin’s neck to smell him. He smelled good, like soap and skin.

 

“Arthur!” Merlin pulled back sharply, but Arthur grabbed his hand.

 

“I like your neck. And your fingers.”

 

He splayed out Merlin’s hand and pressed a kiss to each fingertip. He felt Merlin shudder and wanted to suck them into his mouth, but Merlin pulled his hand away.

 

“Good night, Arthur.”

 

“Night,” he yawned, closing his eyes and drifted off with a smile on his face.

 

***

 

 Arthur woke up to his tongue feeling like sandpaper and his arms wrapped around his laptop. There may have been a drool stain on the screen, but he chose to ignore that in favour of collecting his thoughts and trying to remember what happened last night.

 

He knew he got utterly sloshed, hence the pounding head. He also remembered Merlin taking him home and putting Arthur to bed and… oh god.

 

He’d been all over him! Why did he do that? Was he trying to ruin everything? Did he tell Merlin he knew about the audiobooks as well? Or was he too busy sniffing his neck and sucking on his fingers?

 

Oh Christ, he was doomed.

 

His mind raced through every horrible scenario as he showered and tried to become somewhat human. It was Saturday, so he didn’t have to go into work, but he did go through some files and answer emails, trying to distract himself from all the idiotic things he’d done.

 

Maybe he could work from home forever and never leave his apartment. Then he’d never have to see Merlin and deal with his actions. He also wouldn’t be tempted to jump his bones and take him where he stood. Well, less tempted.

 

He wasn’t doing a great job of distracting himself from Merlin and his face and his voice, but it was made all the worse by the email reminder of the other audiobooks sitting in his cart. Right, those.

 

He clicked the link and stared at the list of books, each title more ridiculous than the last. He hesitated just for his pride’s sake, but he knew he was buying them. Apparently his willpower was nonexistent when it came to Merlin.

 

He refused to listen to them (and, inevitably, start wanking) this early in the day, so he got up to make food and do the dishes and do some laundry and basically anything but look at the laptop currently burning a hole into his desk.

 

Even though he had slept in, it felt like forever before it was past eight and he could justify getting ready for bed. He opted for just boxers instead of pyjamas, thinking them pretty unnecessary at this point.

 

Knowing he was going to be listening to these books primarily for the sake of getting off added a certain thrill to it and his stomach flipped nervously as he scrolled through the titles. He finally settled on one called _Rough and Ready_ and hit play.

 

Merlin’s smooth, deep voice started and Arthur held back a shiver. It was just on audiobook. About sex. Narrated by his friend. Nothing crazy.

 

The book was pretty dry and he wasn’t quite sure what the plot was, so he skipped around again until, inevitably, he reached a sex scene.

 

_“Jasmine knelt in front of him, hand hiding her surprise behind her back._

 

_‘Close your eyes,’ she said seductively. Elias let his lids fall shut, hiding those beautiful blue orbs._

 

_Jasmine pulled down his boxers to reveal his long, firm arousal. She fluttered her eyelashes and licked the milky liquid secreted from the slit. Elias moaned with pleasure.”_

 

The writing was terrible, way worse than the last one, but he still found his idiotic dick twitching in interest at Merlin’s rumbling voice and the way he was practically whispering to add a heady feel to the scene.

 

_“Jasmine suckled at the tip of his throbbing member as a calf sucks at a teat. She licked at all the wonderful juices Elias was spilling into her mouth. But she wanted more. She wanted Elias to feel more pleasure than he had ever felt. She wanted him to feel the same overwhelming, cosmic ecstasy she always endured when he was thrusting his golden shaft into her womanly cavern.”_

Arthur reached a hand into his boxers and stroked himself to full hardness, trying to focus on Merlin’s voice more than the actual words. He thought back to Merlin leaning over him to fix his blankets and tried to imagine Merlin pausing at his ear to whisper beautiful, filthy words.

 

_“When Elias threatened to spill, Jasmine pulled back, biting her lip nervously at Elias’ need for more. Then, she lifted her hand to reveal her surprise. A grapefruit with the middle cut out.”_

 

Arthur froze in his movements. “What the fuck?” He said out loud.

 

_“Making sure that Elias’ eyes were still hidden away, she brought the dripping fruit, inner flesh as pink as her shining lips, to his beautiful, fleshy sword and pushed the fruity ring onto it, squeezing as she brought it down. Elias let out a growl and grabbed onto her hair, pulling at the blond tendrils.”_

 

Arthur withdrew his hand from his pants, too confused to be properly aroused. How had Merlin read this with a straight face?

 

_“Jasmine moved the fruit up and down, its rosy juice dripping to join Elias’ pearly fluids and she had to try a taste. She leaned forward and enveloped the thick shaft with her soft, warm mouth. She sucked on it, tasting the delicious mixture of sweet fruit and her wonderful Elias. His hips shot forward, pleasure mounting at the sensation as well as the loud squelching sounds that filled the room. Jasmine opened her throat to welcome him._

 

_She was lost in the pleasure of having the throbbing love torpedo inside her delicate mouth, but managed to remember to move the golden and pink fruit along with her head, moving as fast as she could around the generous girth of her beloved Elias’ fleshy snake.”_

 

Arthur gaped in horror at his laptop as he listened to his friend, _Merlin,_ read such a ridiculous scene. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to turn it off.

 

_“She felt the throbbing muscle swell in her mouth and she squeezed the fruit tightly as he exploded down her throat, his seed mixing with the sweet juice and spilling all over her lips in a beautiful mess.”_

 

Arthur quickly paused the book before breaking down into hysterical laughter. He didn’t know if it was the writing, the inappropriate use of fruit, or the fact that Merlin had to read it all, but he could not stop laughing for a good few minutes.

 

When he finally calmed down, he clicked away from _Rough and Ready_ and looked through the list, determined to find something readable. He had promised his neglected dick a wank to Merlin’s voice and, dammit, he was going to get one.

 

He was about to consider returning to the first book when a title caught his eye that he had completely missed before. _Save a Horse, Ride a Knight._

 

It wasn’t completely noticeable except for the fact that the cover was of two shirtless men locked in a tight embrace. It was _gay_ erotica.

 

His dick perked up.

 

He read the summary and by the end he was almost back to full hardness. It was based on Arthurian myths. As in Arthur. And Merlin. And apparently the king and the sorcerer had a sordid history, which was documented in this book. And read by Merlin, Arthur’s best friend. Merlin of modern day. Merlin his best friend. Friend to Arthur.

 

Fuck.

 

He immediately started playing it and skipped a bit, eager for a sex scene as soon as possible. Sure enough, a couple skips in, Merlin’s voice went low and sultry.

 

_“Merlin smiled at the sight in front of him. King Arthur was bent in front of him, hands grasping the sides of his royal throne, and the round globes of his rear end on display, asking for Merlin’s hands. He had to oblige, grasping the golden flesh firmly._

 

_‘Do you want me?’ Merlin whispered into the shell of the king’s ear._

 

_‘More than anything,’ Arthur whispered._

 

Arthur shivered, returning his hand to grasp his rapidly hardening erection.

 

_“Merlin pulled apart the round flesh to reveal the tightly furled hole, still glistening with their activities from that morning._

 

_‘Beautiful,’ Merlin whispered as he revealed his throbbing member from his breeches and sunk into the tight, wet heat of his king. Arthur groaned at the feeling of finally being full._

 

_‘More,’ he gasped, rocking back to get more of Merlin’s gorgeous cock inside him. The sorcerer obliged, thrusting forward until Arthur felt his balls slap against his skin._

 

_‘Yes! Harder!’_

 

_Merlin laughed as he moved his hips in slow, deliberate circles._

 

_‘So greedy. As much as I love being inside you, we can’t do this too often. I like having you nice and tight around me.’_

 

_The king whimpered at the words said, but it broke off into a moan when Merlin suddenly thrust forward, hitting that special spot deep inside.”_

 

Arthur moaned out loud at the thought of Merlin fucking him. He was so awkward and fumbling, but the way he said the filthy content of the book made Arthur believe he could probably fuck _hard._

 

He brushed his thumb over the slit, causing his hips to buck up in desperation. He was already dripping precum, the sound of Merlin’s voice heightening his pleasure to extreme levels. He listened to Merlin describe in wonderful detail how the sorcerer fucked his king into the royal throne.

 

It wasn’t enough. He brought his free hand to his mouth and sucked on two fingers slowly and sensually, imagining Merlin’s face if he did that to him. Once they were slick, he pushed down his boxers so he could bring the wet digits behind his balls and rub gently around his hole.

 

When he was relaxed, he pressed at his entrance carefully, having never really attempted this before. He’d always done the buggering, but with Merlin… he would give anything to have him drill Arthur into the mattress. Maybe plow him like a field.

 

As though reading his thoughts, Merlin’s voice suddenly moaned _“Arthur”_ in the most beautiful, wanton way, Arthur’s finger slipped in up to the knuckle and he had barely a few seconds to enjoy the feeling before he was coming, harder than the other night or any night he could remember.

 

“Fuck,” he stated, listening to Merlin’s voice continue the story. If looking Merlin in the eye before was hard (literally), then how was he supposed to handle it now, knowing what Merlin sounded like moaning his name, knowing how much he wanted Merlin inside him…?

 

He pulled out some tissues from his nightstand and set to cleaning up, letting Merlin talk him to sleep and figuring he’d deal with it on Monday.

 

***

 

Arthur woke up way too early for a Sunday morning to his phone ringing loudly in his ear. He would have just turned it off and went back to sleep, but it was Boss by Fifth Harmony, which meant Morgana was calling and ignoring it would cause more trouble than answering.

 

“Hullo,” he said, resting his phone on the side of his head so he could return his arms underneath the warm covers.

 

“You’re not up? Of course, you’re not up! Arthur, get your ass out of bed!”

 

Arthur winced at the loudness of her voice, wiggling his head so the speaker slipped a bit farther from his ear.

 

“It’s Sunday, though.”

 

He could practically hear Morgana rolling her eyes. “Yes, Arthur, it is. Which is when we scheduled brunch for.”

 

“Brunch?” Arthur’s eyes were drifting closed, despite Morgana’s frustrated noise.

 

“Yes, when you combine breakfast and lunch together and go out for mimosas to get nice and tipsy as early as is socially acceptable?”

 

“Right…”

 

“Where we’re all going today? At eleven? Which is in an hour.”

 

“But it’s Sunday,” Arthur’s voice was muffled as he turned his head into his mattress to wrinkle his nose and his phone finally lost its balance and fell next to him. Morgana’s voice was still clearly audible.

 

“Yes, that’s usually the only time we have to go for brunch, seeing as we all work during the week.”

 

Arthur squeezed his eyes shut, sleep addled brain struggling to comprehend words.

 

“But-”

 

“Arthur, you are my brother and I care for you, but if you are not at Mary’s on fifth in an hour I will have no one there to stop me from telling Merlin all about your moony expressions and appreciation for his… side job.”

 

Arthur’s eyes shot open, suddenly wide awake.

 

“You wouldn’t.”

 

“You know me, not much filter. Who knows what’ll happen without you here? I’ll just keep talking and talking…”

 

Arthur was already getting out of bed, casting his laptop a guilty look.

 

“I’ll be there in an hour.”

 

He made it there in forty-five minutes and the others were waiting outside, including Merlin. Arthur’s mouth went dry at the sight of him, gorgeous as always and in casual jeans that were way too small on him and kept pulling Arthur’s gaze much lower than it had any right to be.

 

“Morning,” he said thickly, still trying to catch his breath after Merlin took it away.

 

Merlin gave him a wide smile, as though Arthur hadn’t been all over him the other night, and he had to clench his fists to stop himself from taking Merlin into his arms so they could run off into the sunset together. Or jumping into Merlin’s arms to be carried off.

 

Arthur gave a weak smile became worried. How he was supposed to get through brunch without popping a boner or something equally embarrassing, he had no clue.

 

The alcohol definitely helped and he practically inhaled his mimosa as soon as it was set in front of him. However, he did regret finishing it so quickly when their orders arrived and a server placed oatmeal in front of Merlin as well as a plate with a grapefruit half.

 

His own food forgotten, Arthur watched with wide eyes as Merlin went for the cursed fruit first, scraping the segments away from the peel and slurping them into his mouth with sounds that were probably exactly like those described in _Rough and Ready._ Despite the ridiculousness of the scene last night, the sight of Merlin’s red lips wrapped around that spoon had Arthur shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

 

“I need to-” he didn’t finish, instead quickly getting up and running to the bathroom, locking the stall door behind him so he could lean against it and regain control of his breathing.

 

Steeling himself, he looked down to see a noticeable bulge in his pants. Fuck, he was completely mad for him, wasn’t he?

 

He closed his eyes and tried to think of every gross thing he’d encountered in his life, but then he heard the door swing open and the _fucking voice._

 

“Arthur? Are you okay?”

 

Rather than provide a rational response, Arthur’s brain reminded him of last night, of listening to Merlin call out his name in the throes of passion that Arthur was not responsible for. He opened his mouth to tell Merlin to leave, but all that came out was a whimper.

 

“Arthur?”

 

There was a knock on the stall door. Merlin was just an inch of metal away from Arthur and his massive fucking boner. This was great. He pressed the heel of his hand to his crotch in an attempt to get some relief and had to bite his lip to hold back a moan.

 

“I’m not graduated yet, but I do have some medical knowledge. Do you need help?”

 

Arthur’s head fell back and hit the door with a loud _smack._ Did he need help? From Merlin? With his erection? What the fuck?

 

And then he found himself wondering if Merlin narrated a book about a doctor and then he was picturing Merlin in a white coat and plastic gloves, casually telling Arthur to bend over.

 

“I’m fine,” he finally grunted and his voice sounded so pained to his own ears and he didn’t blame Merlin for not believing him.

 

“Arthur, do I have to break this door down?”

 

He wanted to snort at the thought of scrawny Merlin breaking any door down, but then his traitorous brain reminded him of Merlin’s deep, commanding voice in the audiobooks and how wonderful it would feel to have _Merlin_ of all people push him against a wall and have his way with him.

 

He pressed his hand against his bulge harder, trying not to groan at the insufficient pressure.

 

“Please, Merlin,” he sounded more wrecked and pleading than he meant to. He tried to keep talking, to tell Merlin to leave, but he couldn’t.

 

“Can you open the door, Arthur?”

 

He could, very easily. He could open the door and see Merlin and kiss him and hold him and tell him how much he cared, but that would be stupid. Because… because.

 

He couldn’t really think of an exact reason as to why it would be stupid as he wat too focused on the fact that he was hard and leaking in his pants in a public restroom with the object of his most recent late night fantasies barely a foot away from him.

 

“Arthur,” Merlin sounded so worried, so shaken, that before he could fully think it through Arthur was opening the door to reveal Merlin, his bottom lip caught between his teeth and his eyes wide and fearful. At least, they were until they looked Arthur over and locked onto the very prominent bulge in his trousers.

 

“Oh,” he said.

 

“Oh,” Arthur said, clenching his fists at his sides to stop himself from reaching out and touching the man in front of him.

 

Merlin finally managed to lift his gaze to Arthur’s face and gave a small smile. “I didn’t know brunch was such a turn on to you.”

 

Arthur rolled his eyes. “It’s not brunch, you idiot, it’s your fucking mouth around that fucking spoon and the fucking grapefruit and the fucking noises,” Arthur’s hands began flailing in his frustration and Merlin turned bright read, his tongue darting out to lick his lips as though he were trying to send Arthur to an early death by massive boner.

 

“Grapefruit?” Merlin asked. Arthur tried to calm down and read Merlin’s reaction. He wasn’t scared or disgusted. In fact, he looked... intrigued.

 

“And your lips,” Arthur added. Merlin stepped closer, so close that if Arthur bucked his hips they would brush against Merlin’s. Oh, how he wanted to buck his hips…

 

“My lips?” Said lips twitched at the corners in a bit of amusement and Merlin’s voice was deeper, similar to the audiobooks and Arthur felt like if he got any harder he would explode.

 

“Please, Merlin,” he whispered.

 

“Do you need help?”

 

The second Arthur nodded Merlin dropped to his knees so fast he swore he heard a crack. Then his zip was undone and his rock hard erection was finally freed, twitching under Merlin’s warm breath.

 

“Oh god,” Arthur latched onto Merlin’s soft hair for support, tugging at the strands to urge him closer. Merlin obliged and at the first sensation of Merlin’s tongue at his slit Arthur lost control and a loud, broken moan was torn from his throat.

 

Merlin’s hands held his waist and pushed him back as he took just the tip into his mouth, tongue curling to lap at the precum that had collected there.

 

“Merlin, more, I need- I can’t- I-” Arthur felt like he was going to cry with pleasure, having thought about this for so long and now having Merlin on his knees, bringing him off with his mouth.

 

Merlin hummed contentedly and it was so… sweet that Arthur’s heart stuttered in his chest and he knew, he just _knew,_ that this was more than friendship or lust or whatever he told himself. He was in love with Merlin and there was nothing that could change it.

 

“Merlin,” normally he would be embarrassed at the way his voice cracked, but Arthur did not care because Merlin moved his mouth further down, slurping obscenely and cheeks hollowing to show off those fucking magical cheekbones and when his nose his hit the curly hair at the root of Arthur’s cock he made an attempt at bucking his hips forward, prevented by Merlin’s deceptively strong grip. He couldn’t really complain, though, not with the way the head of his cock brushed against the ridged roof of Merlin’s mouth with every eager movement.

 

Arthur gave a choked gasp as Merlin sucked _hard,_ successfully turning Arthur’s brain off and all he could do was hold onto Merlin’s hair for dear life as Merlin began going at Arthur’s dick like a man starved, head moving up and down, that sweet suction bringing Arthur closer and closer until his balls tightened and he knew he wouldn’t last much longer.

 

“Come,” he gasped out in an attempt at a warning, face flushed and sweating as he thrashed as best he could while restrained. Merlin just moved faster and Arthur’s cock hit the back of his throat and how was Merlin so _good_ at this?

 

Merlin’s hands moved farther back, past his hips to grab onto his arse and give them a firm squeeze. Arthur thought of the audiobook from last night, of the sorcerer fucking his king into the throne and with that he came, sharp and sudden and much better than any of the times he’d wanked to the audiobook. Sexy as they were, he had found a new obsession and it was Merlin’s lips around his cock.

 

“Fu-u-uck,” Arthur groaned as Merlin didn’t stop; mouthing at him and making him wince with sensitivity. He let go of Merlin’s hair, a sign that he could pull off because Arthur was not capable of coherent speech at the moment, but Merlin continued lapping at his softening dick, trying to get every last drop and Arthur couldn’t help but twitch with renewed interest.

 

Finally, though, Merlin leaned back and tucked Arthur back into his pants, pressing a firm kiss to the cloth there before standing up, looking far too smug at the sight of a panting and boneless Arthur, the bathroom stall the only thing preventing him from collapsing.

 

***

 

In true Merlin and Arthur fashion, they did not discuss what had just happened. Instead, they avoided eye contact and returned to their table. Morgana narrowed her eyes at them, but thankfully didn’t comment, clearly more interested in how pretty Mithian’s hair was yesterday.

 

Arthur knew his face was still red and his voice was too loud, but as long as he avoided watching Merlin’s mouth around anymore cutlery he could emerge from the brunch virtually unscathed. He may have some bruising handprints on hips and, you know, the giant hole in his chest, but otherwise he was unscathed.

 

He smiled and hugged everyone goodbye, perhaps lingering a bit in Merlin’s arms, deeply inhaling his cheap soap that smelled like absolute heaven because it was _Merlin_ and everything about him was heavenly. And demonic. He couldn’t decide.

 

Back in his apartment, trying to get work done with the stupid audiobook tab staring at him almost as seductively as Merlin had, he made a decision.

 

Merlin was a demon. A sexy, frustrating, adorable, clumsy, idiotic, beautiful demon.

 

***

 

Arthur spent what little weekend he had left ignoring his actual work and googling everything from how to remove demon possession to sex curses to the historical accuracy of honey as lube. Apparently, it was unlikely Merlin was an incubus, considering he’d been able to enter the church for Gwen and Lancelot’s wedding. Damn it.

 

Eventually concluding that Merlin was, in fact, human (or at least not a creature of hell, as angel or fae were still on the table), Arthur had to reside himself to the fact that he was head over heels for his idiotic best friend. Who probably didn’t like him back.

 

Arthur frowned, finally closing the tab with images of seductive incubi, who were nowhere near as pretty as Merlin.

 

Was it so improbable? After all, Merlin gave Arthur a… wonderful blowjob in the loo just that morning. Surely, that meant there was something between them, maybe something more than Arthur’s raging boner. Maybe love.

 

When it was finally a socially acceptable hour to go to bed (though probably not to wank to the sound of your best friend narrating erotic fiction), Arthur settled under the covers and scrolled through the list on his computer. He hesitated in attempt to hide his desperation, but he knew he was listening to the gay Arthurian novel which included Merlin moaning his name. He also had the arousing memory of Merlin’s warm mouth wrapped around his length, so he barely lasted through two paragraphs.

 

Sticky and sated, Arthur went to sleep with a firm plan in mind to dramatically reveal his feelings.

 

***

 

The next day, while making breakfast, Arthur began to doubt his plan and tried to come up with a better one.

 

Just before lunch, while sitting in the boardroom and listening to Mr. Bayard’s lengthy proposal, he began to wonder if he should tell Merlin so soon.

 

Sitting on the bus back home that evening, he stared at the numerous missed calls from Merlin and hit himself for even considering confessing his feelings when it was clearly a one off.

 

And so, brilliant decision maker that he was, Arthur spent the week ignoring Merlin and spending the evenings going through every single audiobook and wanking himself raw.

 

It wasn’t a great week, but it wasn’t terrible.

 

Saturday found Arthur staring into his empty fridge, wondering how likely it was he would run into Merlin at the shop, when there was a knock at his door.

 

Sighing, he went to answer it, but immediately regretted it when Merlin, the demon/angel/fae himself, was stood in front of him.

 

“Hi,” Arthur smiled, but Merlin was glaring. He probably should’ve been worried, but an angry Merlin wasn’t exactly a turn off.

 

“What the fuck, Arthur? I mean, I  know our communication skills aren’t the best, but a whole week? Was it really such an awful thing to happen? Because if I remember correctly, you weren’t complaining.”

 

Arthur winced as Merlin walked inside so he could pace, wringing his hands like he always did when he was nervous.

 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. Merlin finally stopped and turned to him.

 

“Look, if you… we can not talk about it, if you don’t want to. It was a one off, no need to mention it again.”

 

Arthur looked into Merlin’s eyes and saw something he never wanted to see in those beautiful blue eyes. Fear.

 

“I don’t want it to be a one off.”

 

Merlin’s eyes widened. “No?”

 

Arthur shook his head and then Merlin marched forwards and crashed their lips together. It was rushed and messy and Arthur wasn’t sure if he should use is tongue yet or if it was too soon, but it was also heated and overwhelmed with a sense of _finally._

Their hands grabbed at each other, both needing more as soon as possible, when Merlin pulled back, hands fisted in Arthur’s shirt and eyes searching.

 

“You want this?”

 

Arthur smiled. “I’m only sorry I don’t have a throne for you to fuck me on.”

 

As soon as the words left his mouth, he knew he fucked up. Merlin’s face scrunched in confusion before darkening in horror. His hands loosened and he stepped back slowly.

 

“What?”

 

“Um…” Arthur fumbled. “Just a random fantasy I had once. You know, Arthur, King Arthur. That sort of… thing.”

 

He watched Merlin relax with relief and moved to wrap his arms around him once more.

 

“Well, you don’t have a throne, but there are plenty of other things I could fuck you into.”

 

Arthur groaned, pants getting uncomfortably tight, and let Merlin drag him into the bedroom and throw him onto the mattress.

 

Merlin looked down at him hungrily before pulling his shirt off in a fluid motion that was way too sexy to be real. He added it to his Merlin-isn’t-human argument before Merlin’s mouth attached to his neck and reason was lost to him.

 

“I want you,” Merlin sucked the sensitive skin to leave a mark and Arthur moaned, hips bucking up in search of friction. “I’ve wanted you for so fucking long.”

 

“You had me in the bathroom last week,” Arthur argued and Merlin’s response was to grind their hips together, bring Arthur to full hardness real quick.

 

“Yes, but now I’m going to take my time with you, enjoy it. I can’t wait to turn you into a wonderful, incoherent mess.”

 

Arthur’s eyes rolled back as Merlin’s voice deepened, similar to when he narrated the sex scenes but this time it was real and close to Arthur’s ear and he could feel the breath on his skin and his arms were wrapped around Merlin and he could feel the answering hardness through those damn skinny jeans.

 

“Please take off your clothes,” Arthur begged, even though Pendragons never begged. He blamed it on Merlin being a magical creature of some sort.

 

Merlin chuckled, low and raspy and Arthur had to fight not to whimper because _that_ was a sound that had never made it into an audiobook and probably with good reason because Arthur felt his cock start leaking, begging for some sort of attention before Arthur came in his pants like a teenager.

 

Finally, Merlin leaned back, freeing them both to hurriedly remove their clothes before Merlin was on top of him once more, kissing across his chest, lingering on his peaked nipples too much before Arthur had to squirm away lest this be over far too quickly.

 

“Lube?” Merlin asked.

 

Arthur tried not to think about the honey in his cupboard and instead went for his nightstand, stomach twisting at the open, but sleeping, laptop on top. He grabbed the lube and a condom from the drawer and turned back to Merlin, who definitely looked like a sex demon with his wild hair, flushed face, and wide, blown pupils.

 

Merlin took the supplies, freeing Arthur’s hands to tangle in that hair, just like last week except this time there was a soft mattress underneath his back and they were going to be going a whole lot farther than a blowjob. That is, if Arthur could stop from coming the second Merlin touched his cock. The dice were still in the air on that one.

 

He felt Merlin’s mouth move to his inner thighs, kissing and nibbling and Arthur let his head fall back, eyes closing as his muscles loosened at the ministrations.

 

He barely heard the lid popping open, but he definitely felt a slick finger circle his entrance and only the reminder that this was _Merlin_ kept him from immediately clenching up.

 

The finger kept teasing and Arthur moved his hips up and down in a silent plea, not trusting his voice or ability to form words.

 

Finally he felt the slight pressure of being penetrated and a garbled noise broke free. Merlin thrust a few times and added a second finger before Arthur could even ask.

 

Merlin’s fingers were much longer than his and it only took a few thrusts before they brushed against that little bundle of nerves and Arthur froze, eyes opening wide, before he ground down onto those fingers, his hands pulling at Merlin’s hair to say _more, more more._

Merlin obliged, rubbing against that spot until Arthur’s legs felt like jelly and his chest was flushed and heaving.

 

“Please,” his throat was dry. He looked down at where Merlin was frowning in concentration, focusing his efforts on stimulating Arthur and bringing him to the brink. After so long listening to the audiobooks, it was odd that Merlin was so quiet in bed, but Arthur wasn’t complaining.

 

He watched as Merlin took his bottom lip between his teeth before adding another finger. Arthur gave a sharp intake of breath and his cock dribbled messily onto his stomach, flushed and throbbing with pleasure. Guess those erotic novels had a point in using that adjective so much because that’s all Arthur could feel. Throbbing cock, throbbing hole, throbbing toes, all of him was throbbing in pleasure and as Merlin’s amazing fingers plunged into him, he doubted he could last much longer.

 

“Merlin, don’t-” he broke off into an actual mewl as Merlin’s nose tickled his cock and he pressed a kiss to the base, his fingers moving slowly and purposefully against his prostate in a slow torture.

 

“Merlin, wait!” He felt tears in his eyes and it felt like every nerve was on fire. “I don’t want to come without your cock inside me.”

 

Merlin’s mouth pulled away, but his fingers continued massaging his insides and Arthur whimpered. Merlin gave him a wicked smile.

 

“You can just come again.”

 

Arthur opened his mouth to respond, but then one of Merlin’s hands wrapped around Arthur and it only took one tug before he blew his load all over his stomach, some reaching his chest.

 

“Oh god,” Arthur had to blink a few times to remove the spots from his vision, though it was difficult with Merlin’s fingers still stroking his inner walls, even if he let go of Arthur’s softening dick.

 

“Still want me to fuck you into the mattress?”

 

Arthur tried to speak, but all that came out was a squeak. Merlin may be quiet during sex, but what he did say turned Arthur into a gooey puddle of need, more so than he already was.

 

Merlin’s fingers froze and Arthur was partly relieved at the slight reprieve, but more desperate for him to never stop.

 

“Arthur? Are you okay?”

 

Their eyes met and Merlin looked worried, a little unsure. Arthur smiled fondly and nodded, spreading his legs a little farther in clear invitation. Merlin grinned and removed his fingers, Arthur whining at the loss.

 

“So desperate,” Merlin said huskily and holy fuck, there was no way Arthur could go back to audiobooks after having the real thing. Maybe he wouldn’t have to. The feeling in Arthur’s heart (and cock) at the sight of the condom packet between Merlin’s teeth as he ripped it open was definitely better than a simple recording could provide.

 

At the first press of Merlin’s erection against his hole, Arthur’s refractory period decided to fuck off and all his blood rushed south. Finally, _finally,_ Merlin pressed in and Arthur’s vision blurred at the wonderful pressure of being filled, Merlin’s length perfectly curved to brush against his prostate and he was almost worried at how soon after his last orgasm his cock was back to oozing precum all over his stomach. He dent a silent apology to followtheyellowdickroad for ever doubting their assumption that Merlin could plow someone like a field. Next time he’d have to bend over.

 

“Oh sweet gods, Merlin,” Arthur’s body practically sucked Merlin inside him and he could feel the heavy breaths against his neck as Merlin seemed to be holding himself back. They could have none of that.

 

Arthur wrapped his arms and legs around Merlin and gasped out a “Move.”

 

Not needing to be told twice, Merlin pulled out slowly, _too slowly,_ thrusting forward in a sharp movement that hit Arthur’s prostate dead on and he practically howled with pleasure, nails scratching lines down Merlin’s back, a possessive part of him hoping they leaved marks.

 

Urged on by the _very_ enthusiastic noise, Merlin began moving faster and harder, making Arthur bounce slightly with the effort and Arthur became little more than a wobbly puddle.

 

With each thrust Merlin grunted slightly in his ear. In between, he’d press kisses to Arthur’s neck and it was all very deliciously arousing, but Arthur wanted something more.

 

“Say something,” he whispered between punched out breaths. Merlin’s movements stumbled a bit before he responded.

 

“Say what?”

 

“Anything,” Arthur pleaded, getting dangerously close to finishing once more, but he wanted one more thing before this ended. “I want to hear your voice as you fuck me.”

 

Merlin groaned, his hips snapping back and forth with renewed vigour (not that there was anything wrong with it before).

 

Just when Arthur began to think that maybe Merlin was going to fuck Arthur’s question out of his mind (which, once again, Arthur had no problem with), that beautiful, rough, utterly breathless voice was in his ear. So much better quality than his computer, no matter how high grade it was.

 

“You feel so good around me,” Merlin said and Arthur clutched him tighter, struggling to liste to the words and not pass out in utter bliss.

 

“I’ve wanted to fuck you for so long. Ever since that day we met and I saw this beautiful arse,” he punctuated the word with a slow roll of his hips that had Arthur’s arms and legs falling to the mattress, having lost all ability to move. Ever so helpful, Merlin gripped Arthur’s thighs and pushed them up against his chest, allowing more access to said beautiful arse.

 

“I thought you were just some arrogant prat, perfect for a one night stand, even if I might regret it in the morning.”

 

Arthur frowned at the thought of Merlin regretting being with him, but then he kept talking.

 

“But then, even though you _are_ and arrogant prat, you also had to be all honourable and sweet and so,” he circled his hips in a way that rubbed the head of his cock against Arthur’s prostate. “Fucking,” another circle, “sexy,” he circled once more and Arthur couldn’t hold back, his orgasm fucked out of him and his release making a mess of both of them.

 

Merlin was still inside of him, thrusting quickly in search of his own pleasure and Arthur could only gasp and whimper at the oversensitive but fucking amazing feeling and then Merlin came with a loud, high pitched moan that took Arthur’s fucked out brain a few seconds to realize was his own name. It was definitely sexier than the audiobook.

 

When they both caught their breaths and regained some semblance of coherency, Merlin pulled out gently, tying off the condom and throwing it aside. Arthur wanted to call him out on making a mess, but considering the mess Arthur made of their stomachs, he could let it slide (even though Merlin was partly to blame for that as well).

 

“We should clean up,” Merlin said, his voice slightly raspy and Arthur couldn’t help but hope it lasted for a while. If Arthur’s was probably going to have trouble sitting down for the next week, the least Merlin could do was have a scratched back and a sore throat.

 

“We can do it in the morning,” Arthur mumbled, already half asleep with how loose his limbs were.

 

“Alright, love,” he felt Merlin’s lips on his forehead and wanted to question what Merlin just called him, but he was already unconscious.

 

***

 

Arthur woke up feeling a little uncomfortable, a little stiff, and a lot happy. He also had a strange sense of foreboding he didn’t understand until he blinked his eyes opens and took in the sight of Merlin sitting up next to him, mouth open with horror, and eyes fixed on the screen of Arthur’s laptop.

 

Arthur squinted, brain struggling to process for a moment before he sat up so fast his head spun, so focused on Merlin he didn’t even notice that he’d been wiped clean at some point after falling asleep.

 

“I can explain!”

 

“Why,” Merlin’s voice was stilly raspy and Arthur couldn’t help the jolt of arousal despite the dire situation.

 

“Why is there a folder called ‘Merlin’s motherfucking voice of absolute sex’ open on your computer? And why is it filled with… audiobooks?”

 

Arthur sat cross-legged, sheet covering his lap for some semblance of decorum.

 

“I… found your audiobooks. That you made. That you narrate. With your voice.”

 

“My motherfucking voice? Of absolute sex?”

 

Arthur’s face heated up and he nodded. Merlin didn’t look any more comfortable, though his lips were quirking up a bit at the edges.

 

“Medical school is very expensive.”

 

Arthur nodded again.

 

“I’m not some… heir to a great fortune. A regular crappy job is not enough.”

 

“I know,’ Arthur urged. “I know, I just…”

 

“Wanted to make fun of me?”

 

Arthur felt like his face was on fire and willed himself not to get hard under Merlin’s intense gaze.

 

“Well, sort of. I thought about it. But then… I heard them.”

 

“All of them,” Merlin whispered, gaze shifting to the screen that displayed Arthur’s nighttime activities. His eyes widened.

 

“The throne.”

 

“Yep.”

 

“The grapefruit.”

 

Arthur fought a wince.

 

“Yea, and… well, the writing was awful. Terrible. But you, your voice…” Just the thought of it, the thought of Merlin’s actual voice during sex, Merlin last night, what he did to Arthur, had the sheet on his lap tenting obscenely. Merlin clearly noticed it and licked his lips in a way that did nothing to help the situation.

 

“So, you listened to them every night?”

 

Arthur nodded. And Merlin’s face lit up as he pointed to himself.

 

“I’m the porn!”

 

It took Arthur a moment to remember what he’d said on that drunken night and then he buried his face in his hands. “Why couldn’t you have been a stripper?”

 

Merlin laughed. “Have you seen me attempt physical activities? It’s not pretty.”

 

Arthur lowered his hands slowly to take Merlin’s. “No, it’s fucking beautiful.”

 

“Is it absolute sex?”

 

Arthur groaned and lifted Merlin’s hands to his own face to hide again. Unable to resist, he pressed a kiss to the palm and felt Merlin shiver.

 

Merlin pulled his hands free and lowered them to grip Arthur’s thighs and a damp spot appeared in the sheet, portraying Arthur’s immediate reaction.

 

“I guess it is,” Merlin smiled and leaned over to nibble at Arthur’s neck.

 

“Why were you even on my laptop?” Arthur attempt at shifting focus failed as Merlin took Arthur’s ear between his teeth. When Arthur’s head was sufficiently hazy, Merlin answered.

 

“Needed to email a prof about missing a class. That is happening now.”

 

“Ah,” Arthur said, partly in response and partly because Merlin was gripping his erection through the sheet.

 

“So, should we grab breakfast? Pretend we went on a date before you put out?”

 

Arthur nodded. “We’ll need more than one date to balance last night out.”

 

Merlin gave his cock a slow tug and Arthur bit his lip, grabbing onto Merlin for support.

 

“Sounds like a plan.”

 

 “You’re not putting grapefruit anywhere near my dick.”

 

Merlin laughed, low and raspy and, yes, absolute sex.

 

“We’ll see.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
